I’m a writer.
Always have been.
As a kid, I spent many class periods sitting hunched over my desk, writing stories and not paying attention to my teachers.
I’m sure my less-than-stellar GPA was a coincidence.
My main area of interest used to be fiction. I spent hours upon hours writing short stories and attempting novels. And, once in awhile, a play. A few years ago, I wrote a screenplay I was pretty proud of. Someday, I still plan to turn that into a film, even if I’m the only one who would ever watch it.
I still enjoy fiction, although I haven’t spent a lot of time writing it in recent years. My journey took a somewhat unexpected turn in 2013 when I was offered an unpaid position for Awards Circuit, writing about something I love more than just about anything: movies.
I say “somewhat unexpected” because film criticism was a dream of mine, but one of those I never thought would actually go anywhere. Considering how male dominated the industry is and how every outlet has more critics than they know what to do with, I just assumed it was one of those things I would only get to do as a hobby on my personal blog. Nothing more.
But then Clayton at Awards Circuit brought me on board and I started writing about film and television and attending festivals. And it was awesome.
Over the past four years, my role has changed considerably. In the beginning, I contributed to two columns: Women in Cinema and the Historical Circuit. Neither of those columns exist anymore, but my work at Awards Circuit has grown and I love it. Now, I get to cover daily film and television news, still write film reviews, sometimes interview people, and attend those film festivals. And I’m also a member of the podcast team.
I love working for Awards Circuit. It’s a great gig, and everyone is awesome. I’ve heard a lot of similar sites get really competitive and mean to each other. If any of that is going on here, I don’t even know about it. And I’m glad. The only drama I need in my life is “This Is Us” on Tuesdays at 9PM.
One of the awesome things about covering film and television is that I am on a bunch of press lists and get invited to all kinds of film screenings, interview opportunities, festivals, etc. And I wanna do it ALLLLL. I want to be where the people are!
But there’s this pesky thing holding me back.
My day job.
The problem is, I have to pay the bills. Obviously.
Because my roommate/landlady won’t accept rent in the form of hastily written haiku. Apparently.
Work is busy and getting busier. Because I went and told my boss and my co-workers that I’m not doing all the things I should be doing. This seems counter-productive because why would I ask for more work, but the thing is I don’t know I’m dumb and this is why I’ve been in therapy for five and a half years.
OR, it’s because I know what I SHOULD be doing to earn my paycheck and I want to see things get done right. So I said, “Hey, let me do my job, for the love of Pete.”
(Which, incidentally, I don’t really get that expression. I’ve only ever known one Pete and I certainly don’t love that guy!)
And don’t get me wrong. I’m infinitely grateful to have a job. And it’s not a bad job at all. Especially now that I have a boss that…actually listens to me. (Weird, right??)
Anyway, so the workload is piling up and I’m keeping up with my basic stuff at AC, but this blog is suffering greatly. Because, by the time I get home from work, the last thing I want to do is stare at my laptop screen. In fact, lately, by the time I get home from work I’m so tired it’s hard for me to stare at ANY screen that doesn’t have Sterling K. Brown on it.
I didn’t watch the Emmys last night.
I DIDN’T WATCH THE EMMYS.
Me. Lover of all awards shows.
Instead, I went to the movies with my mom. We saw “ET” and it was delightful and I regret NOTHING.
Except the part where I didn’t get to see Sterling K. Brown accept his award for Outstanding Lead Actor.
There are so many things I want to do. I want to branch out. Write more. For additional outlets. Not other. I won’t quit Awards Circuit until I’m forced out by a big, epic coup or Clayton closes up shop. But I’d like to submit my work to other places too.
I’m joining forces on a new podcast that will be coming along soon.
I want to build up this blog again and share lots of exciting(?) stuff.
But that day job just keeps getting in the way. Because I’m so exhausted at the end of each day.
Just to fully emphasize this point, I began writing this post LAST Monday. And I’m not even exaggerating about that.
So my new plan of action is this…Start saving every scrap of cash I can get my hands on. Save it like it’s going out of style. Since it practically is. Build up a reserve with enough to live on for six to eight months, and then…leave the 9 to 5. Walk away and go earn my living as a freelancer.
But it’s the only way to accomplish what I really want to do.
Because you know what? I’m good at it. And it’s time to start doing something about it.
Of course, if some muckety muck at Variety wants to just go ahead and offer me a full-time gig, well, that would be all right too.