Memories come from nowhere sometimes. And then there’s Facebook’s “On This Day” thing which puts them front and center.
This morning, I was minding my own business, flipping through my timeline when the notification popped up. I generally like to peruse the memories and laugh or cringe or whatever.
Today, my memory timeline was full of check-ins from a road trip I took five years ago this weekend with my friend Michele.
It was a last minute trip. Thrown together the way the best spontaneous getaways are.
Our church has a semi-annual conference in Salt Lake City.
(It’s this weekend, btw, and no pressure, but you can check it out here if you feel so inclined.)
Conference is available online, via a lot of TV cable and satellite providers, etc. But there’s something really cool about being there in person. Sitting in a room with 21000 or so other people. All listening to amazing discourses on faith and love and all good things.
Michele and I were both going through STUFF. A lot of it. So, with very little planning, we procured some tickets for conference and absconded to the land of northern Utah for the weekend.
Since we were going to be in town for such a short time, I didn’t make a lot of plans with friends. We crashed at Emily and Dustin’s house and hung out with them. And we spent one very hilarious evening with some friends of Michele’s. The only other person I planned to see was my friend Jason.
Truth be told, seeing him was a big motivation for going up there. Like I said, I was going through stuff and Jason just had a way of making me not care so much about things that sucked.
We had vague plans to get together. Essentially I was supposed to call him when I got to town and we’d figure it out.
I called. No answer. I left a message.
The next day, I texted.
I tried one more time on Sunday afternoon, but to no avail. We never got together. I didn’t hear from him until a day or two later when he explained he, too, had made a last minute trip out of town to somewhere without cell service.
This was actually very common for him, so it was fine.
Well, no, it wasn’t fine. I was actually pretty annoyed, to be perfectly honest.
What I never could have imagined was that just a few months later I would be sitting in a memorial service, listening to people share memories about what a great person Jason was.
It turned out that when I was going through stuff, so was he. And I never knew. And then he was suddenly gone.
I don’t want this to be a bummer of a post because that isn’t how I felt when I saw those memories pop up.
It’s kind of funny because most of the Facebook memories from that weekend were on the drive up when I was in a pretty great mood. And so the memories were funny instead of sad.
No, oddly enough I wasn’t really sad. It was more like I was just struck with understanding. I had spent that weekend being annoyed and making it all about me. About my feelings. And it never occurred to me that it wasn’t all about me.
Basically, what I’m saying is that sometimes those Facebook memories make me nostalgic and other times they make me realize I kind of suck on occasion. It’s good to be reminded that when things don’t go my way, that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with me and I just need to be a little more patient with people.
Sometimes I have to be a LOT more patient than people think I should be.
And you know what? I’m not going to apologize for giving people the benefit of the doubt. Or for giving them more chances than they maybe deserve. It’s not that I’m willing to let myself be a doormat. But if I can show a little more kindness and patience, I think that’s not such a bad thing.