Last week was Spring Break at the college where I work, and as is tradition, I took the week off.
For several months, Chris and I toyed with the idea of taking a quick trip to Arizona to catch some Spring Training games, but finances made that not feasible and we didn’t end up going.
And then some other stuff happened and I ended up spending most of the week sitting on my couch watching a lot of TV and trying to stave off a bout of depression and major anxiety.
I wish this was one of those cases where my shitty brain chemistry was making me feel like this, but unfortunately it was all situational. I know exactly why I feel this way and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
In fact, lately I feel like my entire life is happening TO me, fully without my input or consent.
And that is a pretty miserable feeling.
Don’t get me wrong. Life isn’t all bad. There are some great things going on, and some great things on the horizon. I know this. It’s what’s keeping me moving forward right now. It’s all that’s moving me forward right now: the promise of a better tomorrow.
But right now, in this moment, life is hard.
At first, I tried to fight against that. To tell myself that everything’s fine and that I shouldn’t worry about it.
But you know what? Sometimes you just have to let yourself feel those feelings and just accept that it’s hard. Acknowledging it doesn’t mean you’re giving in or refusing to fight. It just means you are having a hard time. And that’s okay.
I know we’re all going through things right now. Even when life is good, there’s always something.
So we’re all going through things. Some are minor. Some are major. Some are life-defining.
The important thing is that we stick it out. That we keep going.
And that’s what I intend to do.
Last week’s pity party is over. This week, I’m back to work and I’m getting stuff done. I’m not letting life’s setbacks determine my overall well-being, or the direction I’m headed.
Things will get better.
Partly because things just usually get better when enough time passes, but also just because I’ve decided to make them better.
And I hope you will too.