There was much rejoicing in the land this weekend, and the immediate trending of the Twitter hashtag #lovewins.
And why shouldn’t there be? A whole lot of people just won something huge. Something they’ve been fighting a very long time to have.
Honestly? I’m happy for them.
My position on gay marriage remains the same as it has for years. Basically, I have no official position. It doesn’t apply to me, nor to anyone I’m particularly close to, so I don’t take a side. I believe in the teachings of my Mormon faith, but I also don’t feel like it’s right to force my beliefs on anyone else. Not in matters like this.
No, in matters like this, I choose to love people and let them act according to the dictates of their own conscience.
I’m not celebrating the decision. But I’m not mourning it either.
Because this doesn’t change my life at all.
I know a lot of people that are very, very happy. And I know quite a few who are very disappointed.
And some very unkind things have been said on both sides.
But the most disheartening things I read all weekend on my social media feeds were hateful, hurtful things that were, ironically, tagged #lovewins.
Threads chock full of people being told to go and perform feats of anatomical impossibility.
NEVER have I witnessed such hate on Twitter. Calling Christian beliefs evil, the Bible a “fucked up work of fiction” and inviting anyone who doesn’t support same sex marriage (including quite a few gay people, I might add) to kill themselves.
(I find it interesting that it is only Christianity being targeted and not Islam, considering there are Islamic countries where homosexuality is punishable by death. But then Christians DO make such easy targets, what with that whole “turn the other cheek” thing.)
It’s been a heartbreaking spectacle. One I’m sorry to have witnessed.
I really thought the celebrating would be more celebratory and less gloaty.
Too many people are coming across as sore winners, rather than just enjoying this monumental event. An event that has shifted this country completely in a way very few things ever have before, or ever will again.
I really wish this was all about love.
I wish it was all about love and tolerance and people being kind to each other. Because it’s what we need to do. It’s who we need to be. I’m so weary of being lectured about love by people who don’t actually show love. We need to be better than that.
Now, it’s easy to say, “What does she know?” After all, it’s not like I’ve ever felt like a second class citizen. I’ve never been treated poorly because of the color of my skin or my sexual orientation or even (am I allowed to say this??) because I’m a woman.
But you know what? I’ve been ridiculed and mocked for my beliefs. Sat by while a Broadway show called The Book of Mormon won all the Tonys.
I had to watch the news unfold as my beloved LDS temple in Los Angeles was threatened and had to be protected by police in riot gear because people were so angry at those evil Mormons over Prop 8. I felt the sting of being afraid to tell anyone I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for (very legitimate) fear of being attacked verbally or physically.
Things were scary for us Mormons for awhile back in 2008.
Have I suffered decades of oppression?
No. Not myself personally. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get it. Because I’ve had a taste of that fear and I would never want anyone to suffer through that for any reason.
I really DO want us all to love each other.
I know it sounds so Kumbaya, but it’s really what I want.
And when I see people who should be so happy and proud and full of so much love they feel like bursting, but instead are taking their moment of glory to attack other people?
It’s really sad. Sad to the point of pathetic.
For one thing, if you’re looking for more tolerance, that’s not the best route to get there.
For another and more important thing, don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t sit there and brag that #lovewins only to use that mantra to spew hatred. It weakens your argument and makes you look like a petulant child instead of like someone with a legitimate reason to be happy.
I’m not going to pretend that 100% of the hate came from the pro-same sex marriage crowd. Because it certainly didn’t. But that’s where I saw the majority of it. And that just shouldn’t have been.
We should all be more like that priest, Father Jonathan, who was spat upon. After taking to Twitter to say that it happened, he responded with this:
The two men who spat on me are probably very good men caught up in excitement and past resentment. Most in that parade would not do that.
— Fr. Jonathan Morris (@fatherjonathan) June 28, 2015
If we could all respond so kindly toward people that wrong us, then love really could win.
Regardless of what side of the issue you’re on, I would encourage–nay, plead–with you to do something loving today. Perform some act of kindness. Preferably toward someone who is very different from you. It’s easy to serve the people that agree with us. It takes a little more effort to see the world through a different set of eyes. And yet, if we would all do more of that, then the world would truly be a great place.Let's make sure #lovewins by doing something kind for a stranger today. Click To Tweet