I’m so sorry that this show has been delayed weeks and weeks, but, well, I’ve been busy enjoying the holidays. And hopefully you have too.
But here are the winners based entirely on YOUR VOTES. Thank you to everyone who nominated, voted, and spread the word about this silly little love of mine.
Anyway, it’s time for the 4th Annual Karen’s World Blog Awards! And here is your lovely host, Karen Peterson!
6:01–Karen enters the stage in a stunning blue gown and sings a medley of songs from Miss Angie’s Music Mondays feature. It’s an…interesting…medley…
6:17–Karen introduces the first presenter, last year’s Favorite New Blog winner: Alyssa from Alyssa Said Hi. Except Alyssa doesn’t come out on stage and no one seems to know what happened to her, so Karen announces the winner.
6:19–The winner of Favorite New Blog is: Marly Christensen from Marlena Marika Photography!!
6:20–Marly looks gorgeous in a red Dior gown. She looks shocked to have won and just keeps saying, “Oh my gosh.” She thanks her husband and two beautiful little boys for helping her pursue her photography business and blog and then points at Karen and says, “What did you do??”
6: 34–Presenting the Best Kept Secret award is the one guy who doesn’t have Facebook. He looks inside the envelope, but refuses to announce the winner. So Karen steps in and does it again. And the winner is Katie from The Hungry Goat!
6:39–Katie is adorable and quirky and says that winning this award is way better than the time she accidentally set a fire and burned her hand.
6:42–Karen introduces the Karen Peterson Dancers to do an interpretive dance based on Blog of the Year nominee, But First Coffee.
6:52–The dance is still going.
6:58–No, seriously, can this be over already?
7:14–Okay, finally the dancing is done and we move on to the next presenter. It is the hilarious Betty White presenting the award for Favorite Pee-in-Your-Pants Funny Blog. She makes a few cracks about Depends, gas station bathrooms, and accidental public nudity. Appropriate, since the winner is: Eli McCann from It Just Gets Stranger!!
7:20–Eli comes to the stage to give his speech, but he isn’t wearing any shoes or socks. He starts to explain why, but gets distracted by a woman in the front row wearing a cat Snuggie.
7:28–Karen has changed outfits again and is now wearing a black dress with sequins all over it. She looks kind of ridiculous, but whatever.
7:29–She introduces the next presenter, Malala Yousafzai, one of the most inspirational people of 2014 to present the award for Favorite Inspirational Blog.
7:30–The award goes to Be a Warrior Queen! She’s not present to accept her award, unfortunately, so Malala accepts it on her behalf.
7:33–Karen’s nephew comes out on stage and tells funny jokes based on the next Blog of the Year nominee, Lush to Blush.
7:45–The next presenter is one of the world’s favorite moms: Florence Henderson, best known as Carol Brady! She presents the award for Favorite Blog by a Parent.
7:48–And the award goes to Emily from the Freckled Fox!
7:50–Emily takes the stage and gives a perfectly poised acceptance speech. She is graceful and funny and the crowd loves her.
7:55–Karen reads some of her favorite tweets of the year. It’s mostly a bunch of her own tweets, retweeted.
8:24–The next award is for Favorite Singles’ Blog and the presenter is the recently un-singled George Clooney!
8:28–The crowd of mostly women finally calms down enough to hear George over the microphone, so he finally announces that the winner is Miss Angie from My So-Called Chaos!
8:30–Angie thanks all of the bad dates she’s ever had for contributing to her current singleness, and thanks all of the people that voted for her.
8:38–Karen introduces the next presenter, a writer who had a really big year, Gillian Flynn, author of Gone Girl. She presents the award for Favorite Blog About Writing.
8:40–The winner is Chelsea from The Girl Who Loved to Write!
8:41–Chelsea’s acceptance speech is mostly a bunch of rap song lyrics strung together, but it totally works because she is adorable and hilarious.
8:47–Weird Al Yankovich plays the accordion and sings a hilarious song based on some of the most popular posts from the next Blog of the Year nominee, Helene in Between.
8:53–Karen reads some of her favorite Facebook statuses from 2014. Her favorite statuses. That she wrote.
9:01–She introduces the next presenter, one of the best “Others” ever, Michael Emerson, to present the award for Favorite “Other” Blog.
9:02–He’s right to the point and the award goes to Allison Leigh Ann!!
9:03–Allison quotes a bunch of Harry Potter lines, which no one minds because almost the entire crowd is made up of rabid HP fans. She thanks everyone who voted for her, and especially thanks the city of Edinburgh and Taylor Swift for being awesome.
10:04–Taylor Swift comes out and sings “Shake it Off” because that song inspired a LOT of people this year. And then she presents the award for Most Inspiring Post.
10:15–The winner is: Tiffany Khyla from Endless Bliss with her post “11 Things You Should Stop Doing if You Want to be Happy.”
10:16–Tiffany’s acceptance speech is awesome and totally inspiring, just like she is.
10:20–The lights dim and a lone spotlight illuminates Eli McCann, who has been chosen to do a dramatic reading from his own Blog of the Year nominated blog: It Just Gets Stranger.
10:29–Karen is back with another costume change. This time she’s in jeans and a sweatshirt that says J’Aime le Bat Homme.” Apparently she agrees the show is getting way too long here.
10:30–Presenting the award for Funniest Post is Rod Man, the most recent winner of Last Comic Standing.
10:31–The winner is Helene from Helene in Between for her post, “Dear Bloglovin: A Rant“!
10:33–Helene looks awesome in her bright pink dress and she just laughs all the way through her acceptance speech, making sure to thank Bloglovin for their totally biased and heavily skewed awards earlier in the year.
10:37–The next presenter is Russell, the little boy scout from the movie Up. He presents the award for Most Helpful Post. He keeps getting interrupted by Dug, who thinks the award is a ball.
10:38–The winner is Myrko Thum from Tiny Buddha, for the post “Lessons from Overcoming Depression: We Are Not Powerless“.
10:39–Myrko pulls a pre-written speech from his jacket pocket, making sure to thank the readers, the voters, and Lori Deschene for publishing his post.
10:42–Karen comes back onstage and introduces a compilation of favorite Instagram photos. They’re mostly pictures of her nephew and her roommate’s dogs.
10:56–The next presenter is Jack Handey of Saturday Night Live’s “Deep Thoughts.” He presents the award for Most Thought-Provoking Post.
10:57–The winner is Tiffany Khyla from Endless Bliss for the post “Love is (Color) Blind.”
11:00–Tiffany comes back to the stage and gives another perfect acceptance speech, making sure to thank Nina, Pai, and her boyfriend Jon for helping her put together this post.
11:04–A puppet show! There is a puppet show that acts out bits from the final Blog of the Year nominee: A Beautiful Mess.
11:11–The next presenter is the lady with the most followers on Twitter: Katy Perry! She presents the award for Favorite Tweeter.
11:12–And the award goes to The Bloggess!!
11:13–Unfortunately, Jenny Lawson is feeling shy and hides under her chair rather than give an acceptance speech. She tweets it out instead.
11:16–Karen now comes out on stage and says that they need to get the show moving, because she’s tired and wants to go to bed. She goes ahead and announces the next three presenters: Mark Zuckerberg, Martha Stewart, and Justin Bieber.
11:18–Mark Zuckerberg announces the Facebook Famous award goes to Miss Angie from My So-Called Chaos!
11:19–Angie starts to give her speech and is instantly played off by the orchestra. As she is being escorted off stage, she shouts out a few thank yous anyway.
11:20–Martha Stewart presents the Pinnably Perfect award to Miss Angie from My So-Called Chaos!
11:21–Angie runs back onto the stage and starts throwing out more thank yous, but the orchestra plays her off again.
11:22–Justin Bieber, who was only invited because he has the most followers on Instagram, presents the Insta-Fabulous award to Megan Elliott of Lush to Blush.
11:23–Megan gets played off before she even starts her speech. She tries not to look too annoyed, but she throws out a couple of thanks over the orchestra and then turns and leaves the stage.
11:25–Karen is now wearing pajamas and Narwhal slippers and says she’s ready to go to sleep. But there’s just one award left to give. And this one she has chosen to present personally.
11:26–The 2014 Blog of the Year, as chosen by A Peek at Karen’s World readers is a repeat: Eli McCann’s It Just Gets Stranger!!
11:27–Eli comes back to the stage to thank everyone he’s ever met, especially Bob and Cathie and Ollie. And he thanks himself for managing to keep his clothes on for the entire night.
11:31–And that’s our show, folks! I hope you enjoyed it and that you’ll come back next year for more amazing Blog Award goodness!!