Dear Joaquin Phoenix,
A lot of people are going to tell you not to do it. They’re going to give you all kinds of crap for it. Yes, giving up your multiple-Oscar-nominated career to become a hip hop “artist” is a little silly. Especially for someone who is 34 years old.
But you know what? To heck with them! If it’s your dream, go for it! Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong. I mean, sure, your voice is very well-suited for country music and if I was going to give you advice I’d probably tell you to go that route instead, but you don’t want to be a country star. You want to do hip hop! So go out there and make a fool of yourself. The important thing is for you to be happy.
Someone who believes in chasing your dreams, even if they’re dumb
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!
I’m addicted. I just can’t get enough of your status changes and your notes and your pieces of flair! I can’t help it. You’ve reeled me in and I’ll never be the same.
Karen is losing again at Scrabble
Yours was the best commercial at the Superbowl. That bit about superstar MC Hammer and TV personality Ed McMahon losing all their money and having to pretend to hock all their expensive stuff was just comic gold (pardon the pun)!
So…uh…just out of curiosity, how much does a gold toilet like that go for, anyway?
Wishing I had gold, let alone gold to sell
Dear Dr. Jack Shepherd,
Thank you so much for shaving your beard. You look much better clean-shaven. It’s kind of funny that you lived on an island for 108 days and didn’t grow the beard until much later and then shaved it off when you decided to go back. But, regardless, I’m glad it’s gone and I hope this separation is permanent.
On a more serious note, you should really not stop trying with Kate. She loves you too, she’s just mad at you right now and she’s trying to protect Aaron. You can’t blame her. In fact, I’m guessing it’s one of the things you love about her. Give her some space, but not too much. And do NOT even think about calling up Juliet. She’s nice and all, but she’s providing a nice distraction for Sawyer. Let’s leave it that way.
Someone who is NOT an Other and who thinks you’re smart to finally trust Benjamin Linus
Dear Christian Bale,
Hey, it happens to us all. Not usually on camera for the entire world to see. And I don’t usually use the F-word (in public). But hey. I’ve been there too. Just this morning a coworker asked me for a pencil. The nerve! Why can’t she just find her own pencils?! Does she think I’m made of pencils or something?! I swear, if she asks me for another pencil, I’m walking!
A fan who thinks yoga is a great way to relax